I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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