You really coming over, don't trick.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
