I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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