Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
