you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
