12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
bring money and cleavage
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
