Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
