sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
