Where did you get a picture of my penis
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
