i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
