Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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