We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
