my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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