Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
