Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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