sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize