Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
