Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize
