Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
