dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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