3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
