The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
