my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
