I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
A+ Viking dick
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
