hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
