I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize