You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
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