he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize