Christians are straight up FREAKS
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
