drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
ttyl tear gas
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
