As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
