Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
