My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
