We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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