oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize