I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
