Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
