I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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