does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
