kristin has been a bad kristin
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
