member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
