Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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