She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
