Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
