You made me cry and you don't even care
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
