spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
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