Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
