something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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