Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize