My friends, they love my intelligence
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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