I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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