Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Even my vagina gasped.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize