i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize