hotel room ftw
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
