i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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