Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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