why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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