I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
