my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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