this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
