Me too!
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
